The Never-Ending Equation

Stop trying to solve the problem.

That’s exactly what anxiety wants you to do — it wants you to get stuck trying to figure things out so it can make itself stronger. Every time you try to think your way to certainty, you feed the anxiety loop. Even when you come up with an answer that feels reassuring, it never lasts. Anxiety always comes back with “Yeah, but what about this?”

I call this the never-ending equation.

People with anxiety disorders often believe that if they just think hard enough, they’ll solve the worry once and for all. They imagine they’ll have a breakthrough — a moment of clarity, logic, or reassurance that finally makes the anxiety go away forever.

But this never works. Why? Because no answer is ever good enough for anxiety. It always changes the question. This is how it works:

1)       Anxiety presents a problem.  The “equation” starts small. Anxiety usually asks a pretty simple question, and it feels urgent. 

Example:  What if that weird sensation I just felt in my chest is the first sign of a heart attack? 

Equation: 2+2=?

2)       You try to solve it. You feel anxious, so you search for reassurance — thinking, Googling symptoms, asking someone, replaying memories, etc. You come up with an answer that gives temporary relief.

Example:  I’ve been thinking about this for four hours now since I had that original sensation and if it really was a heart attack I probably would have died by now.  It’s definitely not a heart attack.

Equation Solved: 2+2 = 4 (Relief!)

3)       Anxiety returns and adds more to the equation.  The relief wears off. Anxiety adds a new layer — a new question, doubt, or “Yeah, but…”

Example:  Well, maybe that sensation wasn’t a heart attack, but what if it’s a sign of cancer?  You’ve been having weird sensations in that area for a few weeks now.

Equation Grows:  2+2(6) = ?

4)       Repeat.  Forever.  Here is what that looks like:

Anxiety: Well, maybe that sensation wasn’t a heart attack, but what if it’s a sign of cancer? You’ve been having weird sensations in that area for a few weeks now. 

2+2(6) = ?

Answer: Cancer pain doesn’t come and go like this. Plus, I just had blood work done last month and everything was normal. (Relief!)

2+2(6) = 14

Anxiety: Blood tests don’t detect all cancers. What if it’s something rare that they wouldn’t even think to check for?

2+2(6) +4 = ?

Answer: That seems really unlikely. I’m young and otherwise healthy. (Relief!)

2+2(6) +4 = 18

Anxiety: People your age get cancer all the time. You probably just haven’t noticed the other symptoms yet.

2+2(6) +4 ÷ 2 = ?

Answer: Fine, I’ll check again just to be sure. (Googles symptoms— Relief!)

2+2(6)+4÷2=16

Anxiety: See? Right there—it says “unexplained pain can sometimes be a symptom.” What if that really is it?

2+2(6)+4÷2)×3 = ?

Answer: I called my sister who is a nurse and she said pain like this wouldn’t be a sign of cancer. (Relief!)

2+2(6)+4÷2)×3= 48

Anxiety: She works in Labor and Delivery!  How would she possibly know whether or not this is cancer?!?

2+2(6)+4÷2)×3)2=?

For people who struggle with anxiety disorders, by the time they come into the therapy room it’s not uncommon for the mental equation that anxiety has constructed to look something like this (if not bigger and more complex!):

((2+2(6)+4÷2)×3)2+7−49​+28​×(9−3)+52−11+16​144​+3!+12−(18÷3)+62−4+981​+(14−6))

The trick here is to stop trying to solve the problem in the first place.  Realize that it’s fruitless to try to solve the problem and start breaking that habit.  This can be boiled down to three basic steps:

1)       Recognize when anxiety is presenting you with a problem to solve.

2)       Let the problem sit there without solving it. (Yes, this will be uncomfortable.)

3)       Repeat

More to come on this.

-            Andy Dean, LCSW